How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work

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Woman communicating with her long-distance relationship partner
Don’t believe naysayers: a long-distance relationship can work.

“Love will only be 100x harder.” “You won’t last long.”

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ve likely heard these discouraging words. They can leave you feeling disheartened. But don’t wave the white flag just yet.

You may be facing unique challenges. But that doesn’t mean they’re impossible to overcome. In fact, statistics state that 60% of long-distance couples successfully remain together in the long term.

With this, how can a long-distance relationship work? In this blog, we’ll tell you how to go the distance.

The Challenges of LDR

While every relationship is different, long-distance couples can relate to similar struggles. Here are some of them:

Miscommunication

Communication is the most important weapon you can have in a long-distance relationship. But it takes effort to maintain.

Technology has made it easier to stay in touch, but it’s not always reliable. Slow internet connections and faulty devices, for example, can hinder you from seeing each other’s nonverbal cues. In turn, you’re prone to experiencing misinterpretations and misunderstandings. This only heightens the isolation you both feel.

Lack of Physical Closeness

Touch is among the things that keep sparks flying. And this isn’t limited to sexual intimacy. Even a wholesome gesture like hand-holding is a significant form of physical contact.

Distance removes that from the equation, making intimacy challenging, especially if physical touch is your primary love language.

Trust Issues and Other Fears

“Why don’t I trust my partner?”

It’s easy to take your partner’s word if you can see them live up to it. But distance hinders you.

You can’t witness each other’s activities. Suspicions arise out of fear of betrayal or abandonment. You can’t help but worry that your partner doesn’t care anymore, is keeping secrets, or is fooling around with someone else.

The aforementioned fears may stem from past experiences. They may heighten in a long-distance setup because there’s no tangible source of comfort and reassurance.

Time Zones

The time difference can make scheduling tricky. You may just be starting your day, while your partner is a few winks from their bedtime.

Work and other matters add a layer of complexity. They not only affect your free time but also your mood to talk.

Boredom

The distance and time zones are enough to wear somebody out. Add uncertainty and a lack of shared activities into the mix, and you get a boring relationship. Your whole dynamic feels like paint slowly chipping off the walls.

Getting Through the Distance, from a Distance

Survive and thrive in your long-distance relationship with these timeless nuggets of wisdom:

#1: Create reassurance.

The distance creates uncertainty, filling your mind with anxiety and paranoia. These two alone can sever your connection by building trust issues and overdependence.

Make your relationship work by reassuring each other of your commitment and shared future. Have something to look forward to, like a virtual date or a reunion. Or involve each other in your lives. Update each other frequently and celebrate personal milestones together.

Reassurance doesn’t entirely get rid of the dread, but it gives you a bit of happiness and peace. You’ll need all the joy you can get while still apart.

Man spicing up his long-distance relationship with a love letter
As the years go by, things can get dull. So, learn how to spice up a long-distance relationship.

#2: Don’t be too quick to judge.

As mentioned earlier, it’s hard to trust a partner when you’re separated. Even if they say they won’t cheat on you, you can find it hard to believe because you can’t see them keep their promise. Worse, you make unfair and unfounded assumptions or quick judgments. You become so nitpicky and aggressive that one small slip-up is enough to send you into a tirade.

Your fears are valid, but you shouldn’t assume the worst of your long-distance partner. Keep some skepticism and remind yourself that you don’t know everything. More importantly, communicate your feelings to clear the air.

#3: Share your schedules.

Remember the time zone obstacle earlier? This is how you solve it.

Share your respective schedules to know the best time to catch up with each other. What you divulge is up to you. Some simply share their free hours, while others reveal their monthly calendar and geolocations.

Knowing each other’s schedules will relieve a bit of the distance-induced anxiety and make you feel like you’re part of each other’s days.

#4: Establish goals.

Use your free time to set goals for your relationship or individual growth.

You may have some things you put on hold when your long-distance relationship started. If not, you may want to achieve specific things before you and your partner reunite.

Talking about your respective goals also helps. It’s nice to have a cheerleader, even from afar.

#5: Appreciate your relationship for what it is.

Friendly reminder: Your long-distance setup should be temporary. The ultimate goal is to be together in person. Even if it lasts for years, you should have a deadline.

We know it’s hard to hold on to your commitment during tough days. But look at the bright side: you have more space to grow as a person. Consequently, your relationship will be all the better for it.

By the time you’re back in each other’s arms, both of you will have grown as partners and people.

#6: Learn how to spice up a long-distance relationship.

Keeping the spark alive can be challenging due to your proximity and busy schedules. But don’t let these stop you from getting closer. Bridge the gap with these tried and tested ideas:

Game nights

Add a fun spin to your date night by playing games. You can go for a classic board game like Scrabble to test your inner wordsmith or play a competitive video game like Overcooked to sharpen your teamwork.

A little friendly competition won’t hurt. It can be a source of amusement or pleasure from afar. The motivation you have during games can also teach you to strive for the betterment of your relationship.

Love letters

Snail mail is still alive and well in the digital age. Unleash your inner romantic by writing a love letter, pouring out all your feelings. It may be the start of a sweet exchange.

Genuine compliments

Don’t underestimate the simplicity of a genuine compliment. It’s enough to make anyone’s day.

And since your partner isn’t there to see the changes you’ve made to yourself (and vice versa), that compliment feels extra special because they took the time to notice.

Look out for the little things. It could be their hairstyle or the way they carry themselves on rough days. Let them sincerely know you like what you see.

***

Your long-distance relationship will have its ups and downs. But once you finally have your long-awaited permanent reunion, all the work you’ve put in will be worth it. We hope this guide will be of good use to you as you navigate yours.



References:

Polanski, Mary. 2024. “Surprising Long Distance Relationship Statistics - LDR 101.” Luvlink. https://www.luvlink.com/blogs/news/surprising-long-distance-relationship-statistics-ldr-101.


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