How Can a Long Distance Relationship Work: The Ultimate 5-Step Guide to Success

The key to a successful long-distance relationship is sheer commitment, proper communication, and trust. Practical steps to strengthen the relationship include sharing details of your life, engaging in positive interactions, exchanging grievances, learning to respect each others time and boundaries, practicing small gestures like sending a good morning text, and having something to look forward to, such as planning to see each other at least once a year or every two years.

Would a Long Distance Relationship Work For You? 7 Signs to Help You Decide

LDRs can work for anyone who is willing to put in the necessary effort. They are often practical for people with immovable responsibilities, such as those required to travel for work or engaged in graduate studies. Introverts or people who highly value personal space and alone time may also find an LDR arrangement beneficial as it helps them preserve their social battery.

What is an LDR? Unpacking the Truth About Long Distance Relationships in 2024

An LDR is a long-distance relationship, which occurs when partners are physically apart. While statistics show that maintaining an LDR is difficult, common misconceptions often blur the reality of how they function. It is a myth that LDRs are doomed to fail or are devoid of intimacy, as studies reveal that people in LDRs can achieve equal or higher levels of satisfaction, strong communication, and intimacy compared to traditional relationships.

How to Avoid Common Pitfalls in a Long Distance Relationship

Failed LDRs suffer from the same issues as failed in-person relationships, such as difficulties with communication and trust. To avoid these common pitfalls, couples must work harder due to the distance, focusing on sharing both the good times and grievances, maintaining strong communication, and respecting each others personal time and boundaries.

Fixing a Struggling LDR: A Guide to Rekindling the Spark

To fix a struggling LDR and rekindle the spark, couples should intentionally work to strengthen their bond. This involves sharing details of their lives to create a sense of belongingness, cheering each other up through positive interactions, and exchanging grievances so that issues can be addressed and solutions found to make things better. Practicing small gestures can also leave a big, positive impact.

10 Surprising Benefits of a Successful Long Distance Relationship

A successful LDR allows couples to grow stronger, viewing their situation as a test of their love for each other. Studies indicate that LDR couples often experience higher levels of satisfaction and intimacy. Furthermore, LDRs are beneficial for people who require significant personal space, such as introverts, and those whose jobs or responsibilities require them to live in a specific location or travel frequently.

How Can a Long Distance Relationship Work When One Person is in Bangkok? (For AFA Bangkok)

A long-distance relationship can work even when time zones are drastically different, such as when one person is in Bangkok. Time management is crucial, requiring both partners to be intentional with their time and create a schedule for communication and virtual dates. Compromise and understanding are the essential factors needed to navigate the challenges of being physically apart.

How Can a Long-Distance Relationship Work?

How can a long-distance relationship work when both partners are physically apart? Compromise and understanding are the answers.

According to Statista, out of 2,252 long-distance relationships (LDR) in 2015, only 11% made it to 5 years or more. This statistic shows the reality of how difficult it is to maintain an LDR. And it's a valid concern, even without statistics. We've seen time and again how LDR couples struggled to keep their relationships afloat.

However, while these struggles paint long-distance relationships in a bad light, people often misunderstand how an LDR really works. Myths and misconceptions blur what people think it’s like to be in such a relationship.

What if we told you that what you hear or see on social media about long-distance relationships is not always right? Many social media posts about LDRs create unnecessary fear and hesitation. While it can be complicated to love someone from a distance, we’re here to help you understand how a long-distance relationship can work by debunking some of the most common LDR myths.

Debunking Common LDR Myths

“Would a long-distance relationship work even if we just met online and never saw each other in person?”

It is common for people who haven’t experienced LDR to ask this question. To their credit, it is a valid concern since physical interactions are essential in traditional relationships. But while they are important, LDRs can work even without them.

That said, let’s delve deeper into 5 of the most common misconceptions people often have about long-distance relationships.

Having an In-Person Relationship First is Necessary

It’s true that being familiar with the person you’re in a relationship with helps, but we are living in the digital era, a time where people all over the world can find love online without the need for prior meetups. While the idea of needing a physical connection is valid, what matters most is the emotional connection, and it doesn’t require you to be physically present.

Gamers are a great example. While playing online, they may meet random people from different countries. As they play more games together, a connection is formed before they even know it, built from their common passion for gaming. And they didn't have to see each other physically for that connection to prosper.

LDR Takes Up Most of Your Time

Being in a relationship requires you to sacrifice your time, and a long-distance relationship is no exception. Whether traditional or long-distance, both relationships require commitment, but the latter requires you to be more intentional with your time.

Time management is crucial in an LDR, especially when one partner lives in a different time zone. A healthy relationship is where both parties have time for each other, as well as personal time for themselves—there has to be a balance.

The idea that an LDR consumes most of your time is a misconception. Many lovers enjoy their personal time without fully dedicating themselves to checking up on their partners. The fact that they have a schedule for communication and virtual dates means they have set times for each other, which isn’t necessarily all their time.

An LDR is Doomed to Fail

People assume that a long-distance setup is a death sentence for your relationship. But the reality is, a failed LDR is no different from a failed in-person relationship. Both suffer from the same issues, such as communication and trust. However, the other takes more effort due to the distance.

You might have to work harder to maintain your relationship, but just because you’re in an LDR doesn’t mean you are doomed to fail. In fact, some couples have grown stronger over the course of their long-distance relationship. Their reason? Their situation is a test of their love for each other; they prove themselves, as well as each other, that no matter the circumstances, they will find a way to stay together until they physically reunite again.

LDR is Devoid of Intimacy

Understandably, you might feel lonely in an LDR because of the lack of physical intimacy due to the distance. However, this is a common misconception because “intimacy” doesn’t have to be physical. It is still possible to form emotional and mental intimacy with your partner.

Intimacy is built through deep bonds shared with your partner, and emotional intimacy doesn’t require physical presence. By sharing the same grief, hope, and love with each other, such as talking on the phone, playing online games together, or even watching a livestream together, you’re creating an intimate moment.

LDRs are only for a Certain Type of People

A common misconception people fall for about LDR is that the relationship only benefits a certain type of person or a select few—that’s false. LDR can work for anyone; often a necessary part of the relationship, especially for those whose jobs require living in another country or are forced to migrate.

Many kinds of people benefit from an LDR.

Introverts or people who value personal space and alone time find LDR a beneficial arrangement as they prefer to preserve their social battery.

People with immovable responsibilities, such as graduate studies and/or employees who require traveling to a specific location, may find that being in an LDR is practical for their situation.

Being in an LDR isn’t just for a certain group of people; it’s for everyone willing to put in the work to make the relationship more successful and stronger.

A man brushing his teeth while on a phone call

Being in an LDR has its upsides and downsides.

Making Your LDR Work

Every long-distance relationship is unique, but just like any normal relationship, the same rules still apply. According to VeryWellMind, studies reveal that people in LDRs have equal or higher levels of satisfaction, strong communication, and intimacy.

How can a long-distance relationship work? Here are some steps to further strengthen your bonds with each other:

Share Details of Your Life

It is important to bring each other up to speed. Sharing details of your lives gives each other a sense of belongingness—a feeling that they are not alone and are remembered.

Positive Interactions

While it can be difficult to find something positive in an LDR, the last thing you want your partner to feel is burdened. So, cheer and hype each other up, and bring yourselves closer by having a laugh or two.

Exchange Grievances

Healthy couples don't just share the good times; they also share the bad. As such, grievances need to be talked about so they can be addressed accordingly. A couple that shares grievances can help wake each other up and find solutions to make things better.

Learn to Respect Each Other’s Time

Just like in a normal relationship, learn to respect each other’s boundaries; you wouldn’t want to choke each other out from a lack of personal space.

Practice Small Gestures

A simple good morning text can lighten up a person’s gloomy and groggy morning. Small gestures can leave a big impact, especially when someone needs it the most in a crucial circumstance.

Have Something to Look Forward to

Every LDR couple needs to see each other at least once a year or every two years. Plan on what both of you can do, and savor the thrill of seeing each other again.

By using these practical steps to navigate your LDR, you and your partner will also experience higher levels of satisfaction and intimacy.

Myths and misconceptions can easily mislead people. Now that we’ve debunked most of them, you can clearly see that the key to making a long-distance relationship work is through sheer commitment, proper communication, and trust.

References:

Statista Research Development. 2016. “What is the longest you have ever been in a long distance relationship?” United States - Duration of Long Distance Relationships 2015 | Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/510751/duration-of-long-distance-relationships-2015/?srsltid=AfmBOopnqSpXnRWhyA0nUN6n5lWRaAUIu-vAkeLMoGJ-yVU7hbEvOO.

Fournier, Anabelle B. 2023. “Do Long Distance Relationships Work?” Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/long-distance-relationships-can-they-work-4174038#citation-2.