What is a long-distance relationship (LDR) and why might it occur for Western men dating internationally?

An LDR, or long-distance relationship, is a type of relationship where a couple does not live within reach of each other, with individuals typically residing in different states or even countries [1]. The definition of 'long-distance' is flexible, with no specific criterion for distance, though some consider a 2-hour separation as such, while others believe it requires more [2]. For Western men dating internationally, particularly in popular tourist destinations like Thailand, romances with local women often lead to marriage [3]. However, as partners may eventually need to return home, an LDR becomes a necessary arrangement for these couples [1].

What are the common challenges men might experience in an LDR, particularly with an international partner?

Maintaining any relationship can be challenging, but LDRs pose unique difficulties [4]. Common issues include miscommunication and misunderstandings, where one partner's tone or message might be misinterpreted, often negatively, leading to persistent problems [5, 6]. Anxiety and paranoia can arise from the fear of uncertainty, causing emotional distress and overthinking about a partner's hidden activities or commitment [6]. Loneliness and a lack of intimacy are significant, as geographic distance can lead to missing a partner's physical presence and warmth [7]. Furthermore, bad timings and letdowns, such as consistently postponed virtual dates due to conflicting schedules or lack of energy, can drain a relationship and foster feelings of disappointment [8].

How can communication be improved to prevent misunderstandings in a long-distance relationship with an international partner?

To enhance communication and prevent misunderstandings in an LDR, it is vital to remember that communication is a two-way street [9]. Partners should make clear statements to ensure their message is understood and actively listen to their partner in return [9]. Because misunderstandings are common in LDRs, context is key; individuals must clearly articulate their concerns rather than expecting their partner to be a mind-reader [10]. Fortunately, modern technology, such as smartphones, allows for video calls and live feedback, greatly facilitating clearer communication compared to traditional methods [9].

How can couples in LDRs address the issues of loneliness and lack of intimacy, especially when separated by significant distances?

Loneliness and a lack of intimacy are prevalent concerns in LDRs, particularly when partners are geographically distant and crave physical touch [7]. To counteract these feelings, partners should consistently offer assurance and affirmation to each other, especially when doubts arise [11]. This involves demonstrating loyalty and faithfulness through consistent actions, not just words, particularly in communication [11]. Establishing clear boundaries and being sensitive to actions that might cause a partner to feel doubtful can also help alleviate anxiety and build trust within the relationship [11].

What role does acceptance play in successfully navigating the challenges of an international long-distance relationship?

Acceptance is a critical factor for successfully navigating the LDR landscape and fostering better partnership [12]. Drawing from Thai culture and Buddhist teachings, it encourages individuals to accept circumstances beyond their control, such as a partner's schedule, unforeseen tragedies, or technical issues [13]. Understanding that the success of a relationship is determined not by geographical closeness, but by how partners react to challenges, empowers couples to address issues collaboratively [13]. This mindset helps maintain a level head and strengthens the bond despite the difficulties inherent in an LDR [12, 13].

LDR | The Gist of Loving Someone From a Distance

Being in an LDR is not so bad, but it can be challenging if you don’t know how to navigate it.

Thailand is a popular tourist destination that ranks as one of the most visited countries in the world. According to Road Genius, the country took in 32.40 million international tourists in 2024 alone, with the highest at 39.92 million in 2019.

The influx of tourists caused a surge in interracial dating in the country. Foreign tourists not only visit Thailand for its breathtaking beaches and historic temples, but also for its beautiful women. These aren’t your usual holiday flings; many of these romances actually end in marriage.

In fact, an article from Research Gate titled "Demographic Context of Thai-Western Relationships in Thailand" cited that 1% of the marriage population consists mostly of Western men dating local Thai women.

While 1% might sound like a small amount, we should understand that the population of Thailand is at least 70 million. That 1% demographic consists mostly of British, German, and American men. Some are either tourists, military personnel, or educators/educatees.

With that in mind, many of these couples are aware that someday their partners will leave the country to go back home; hence, they have no choice but to be in an LDR, or long-distance relationship.

What is an LDR?

An LDR, or a long-distance relationship, is a type of relationship where a couple does not live within reach of each other. Individuals usually live in different states or even countries.

There is no specific criterion for a relationship to be considered long-distance. The term is flexible and can be interpreted subjectively. For example, a couple who live 2 hours away from each other might be considered long-distance to some, while others believe it should be more than that.

Although it is common for people to be in an LDR setup (work, school, online dating), many long-distance relationships fail because one or both partners would rather break up than endure and maintain their challenging situation.

The Challenges of Being in an LDR

Relationships are generally difficult to maintain, and this is especially true for a long-distance relationship. Understandably, people have their fears and doubts about being in an LDR. Some are scared to be lonely, anxious about whether their partner is cheating on them, and many other reasons.

Of course, you’re both living apart with different time zones and schedules, and you have no way of knowing what the other is doing without you. While some issues are as light as an inconvenience, some are more serious and need to be addressed.

What are some of the most common challenges in an LDR?

Miscommunication and Misunderstandings

These 2 Ms are very common, even in a regular relationship, and while they can be an honest mistake, they’re both costly if not addressed properly.

Miscommunication happens when one partner says one thing, while the other person thinks it means another. The problem with miscommunicating with each other is that one will misinterpret their partner’s tone, message, and context, often mistaking it for something negative.

When miscommunication happens, misunderstandings usually follow. Persistent misunderstandings ultimately change the tide of a relationship.

Anxiety and Paranoia

Anxiety is the fear of uncertainty and of the unknown. Many couples suffer from being anxious about whether their partner is hiding something from them or not.

Being anxious can cause emotional distress, leading the person to a state of overthinking, even from the simplest of things. This is usually the case where couples have had a history of trust or commitment issues.

Loneliness and Lack of Intimacy

Some people are scared to be lonely; they can’t function well knowing their partner is geographically far away from them. The distance creates a lack of intimacy, leading them to miss their partner’s warmth and touch.

These kinds of people require physical intimacy, as well as an assurance that their partners will be there for them.

In fact, many people who cheat on their long-distance partners often do so because they crave intimacy—specifically, someone to share the night with to alleviate their loneliness.

Bad Timings and Letdowns

Promises are, more often than not, broken. No matter how many times people promise their partners that they will do something together online, like a little playdate or movie night, it ends up not happening due to a conflict of schedules or a lack of energy.

Bad timing is what drains a relationship. When a scheduled event or plan is consistently postponed, it leads the person into a mindset where they believe that every plan they make will never be fulfilled—they feel let down.

Love conquers all—it conquers any dismay in an LDR.

How to Resolve Issues in an LDR

Just because there are issues doesn’t mean you can’t solve them—every problem comes with a solution. What you need to realize is that maintaining a relationship is not a one-man job; it requires you and your partner to work together to keep the relationship afloat.

Whether it’s by improving each other’s communication skills or organizing a schedule for both of you to have an online date, it’s always important to understand that you, as a couple, should be up and in each other’s arms.

Improve Communication

Fortunately, we are living in the modern generation—we no longer need to make collect calls from outside the country, as well as write handwritten letters and wait a few months to receive a reply.

We now have smartphones that we can use for video calls as well as receive live feedback from the people we’re communicating with.

Remember, to avoid misunderstandings, one must understand that communication is a two-way street. If you want your message to be understood, you need to make clear statements and ensure your partner understands what you are trying to convey, and in turn, listen to them.

Misunderstandings in long-distance relationships are common—you’re not the only one who has this problem, which is why context is key. If you have something to say, make sure you point out what it is. Your partner is not a mind-reader; they won’t know your concern if you don’t tell them.

Schedule and Compromise

It’s important to know each other’s schedules and what jobs you are working, because in a long-distance relationship, you need to have at least a day or two to connect and celebrate milestones.

Luckily, we live in the digital age, where it’s easier to do virtual dates such as watching a movie together.

Ask your partner when they are free from work or when they have no responsibilities to take care of. That way, you can schedule a day for you to be together.

Sometimes, unexpected things might come up on your scheduled days. What do you do? Compromise!

Compromising doesn’t mean settling for less; it means you are willing to sacrifice plans to meet in the middle.

Assurance and Affirmation

It’s normal to be anxious about what your partner is doing; they’re as anxious and paranoid as you. You’re both not around physically to check on each other, as well as the thought of your partner sleeping with another person.

Whenever your partner feels doubtful of what’s happening in the relationship, assure them that you will be there for them, and show them that you will stay loyal and faithful, not only in words, but also in actions.

Do so by being consistent in your actions, especially when it comes to communication. You should also set boundaries. Be sensitive about things that might make your partner doubt you.

Acceptance: Whatever Happens, Happens.

Some things are out of your control, such as your partner’s schedule and work, unforeseen tragedies, sickness, and even power outages. Sometimes, life just gives us inconveniences.

In Thai culture, specifically from their Buddhist teachings, one must learn to accept what is given to them. Accept the fact that you’re in a long-distance relationship and that there are challenges that come with it.

Truth be told, it is not the geographical closeness that determines the success of a relationship; rather, it is how we react to the challenges that come our way.

Acceptance helps us navigate the LDR landscape with a level head and become better partners.

***

Love conquers all—no matter the distance or the time, love will find its way to connect two souls. You just have to know how to navigate it.

External References:

“Thailand Tourism Statistics - How Many People Visits? (2025).” 2025. Road Genius. https://roadgenius.com/statistics/tourism/thailand/.

Phuengsamran, Dusita, Sureeporn Punpuing, and Niphon Darawuttimaprakorn. 2023. “Demographic Context of Thai-Western Partnerships in Thailand.” Journal of Population and Social Studies, (July), 802-813. 10.25133/JPSSv312023.044.

The Struggles of Being in an LDR