What is love without failure? Breakups are, unfortunately, a reality that is part of relationships. But just because yours failed does not mean it's the end of the world. Even the greatest love stories of all time have tragic endings.
So, if you just broke up with your partner, know that you’re not alone. It happens to everyone. It’s okay to grieve and feel bad about yourself—let yourself feel the sadness and pain of it all. Because sometimes, pain is what it takes to push us to improve ourselves.
You are merely closing one chapter of your life so you can start another—fresh and more learned. Call it character development. A breakup allows you to identify your weaknesses and improve on them so you can navigate future relationships better.
But if you’re still experiencing pain and don’t know how to alleviate it, don’t worry - we’ve got your back. We’ve a list of healthy ways to recover from your heartbreak. It’s time for you to learn how to move on from your past so you can focus on the future.
How Do You Get Over Your Ex After You Just Broke Up?
Moving on and getting over someone you used to love dearly is difficult, especially if you’ve invested a lot of time and emotions in that person.
Letting go is both a painful and liberating sensation. Hence, it can be a confusing phase. The rollercoaster of emotions is enough to make people give up on dating altogether, but that shouldn’t be the case. You’re only hurting yourself more that way.
It’s okay to let go of the memories of love and the nostalgia it gives. Just don’t close your door to the possibility of finding love again.
According to the Buddha Dharma Education Association Inc., in Thai culture, especially in Buddhism, letting go and leaving things doesn’t mean you’re annihilating or throwing it all away; it means you’re letting go of the desires you had.
And what is that desire most heartbroken people have? The desire to change the past and get back with their partner. Dwelling in the past is toxic.
If you want to be happy after a breakup, here are 3 important keys to help you move on from your past lover the healthy way.
Acknowledge the Past and Present
As human as you are, it is no surprise that you are often in denial of your failures. You tend to refuse to believe that you’ve broken up with your partner.
Of course, your memories of love will always linger—it’s not something you can easily let go of. There are people who are blinded by the memories that brought them happiness—leading to a train of denial—and there are those who are haunted by their mistakes; they wish to rewrite the past, hoping that the present outcome will change.
Sadly, you can’t change what’s happened, nor can you go back in time to fix things.
But put it this way: if this had never happened, you wouldn’t know how it feels, let alone know the value of a relationship.
Learn to acknowledge the past. By accepting what has happened and accepting the actions you’ve caused, you are one step ahead of where you were.
Denial is a blindfold that makes you think you’ve gone forward when you’re actually going in circles. By setting your pride aside and accepting what happened, you’ll be able to see where you’re going.
Acknowledging the present means you are aware of the situation. You are sad, broken, and need help. There’s no shame to it. Awareness allows you to recognize the problem so you can find the best solution for it.
It will take time to get used to, of course. Don’t rush yourself.
Be Humble and Seek Help From Others
“While it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.”
If you just broke up, naturally your friends and family will come to your aid, and there’s nothing shameful about that.
Don’t be stubborn—allow others to catch you when you fall. They are your support system.
You have friends and family you can talk to. Don’t be ashamed to seek their help and guidance. A serious conversation with your friends can help shape your perspective, while seeking wisdom from your parents is a great way to make you understand what you did wrong and what you did right.
If you don’t have friends or family members to talk to, then try talking to a stranger. According to The Swaddle, the absence of attachment felt towards a stranger during interactions leads to a sense of relative safety, as well as encouraging emotional expression and disclosure.
Talking to strangers about your problems is a great way to gain insight—they’re neutral, and they don’t know you that much to gauge whether you can take the painful truth or not. Just remember to choose an appropriate time and place to talk to strangers.
You can also ask a professional for help if need be.
There’s nothing shameful about talking to a mental health professional. According to an article from Positive Psychology, breakup therapy provides support and strategies to navigate emotional challenges from ending a relationship.
While seeking help from friends and family is advisable, it is best that you let a professional help clear your thoughts and put your pieces together to give you a better understanding of who you are and why you’ve done such things to yourself and your past partner.
Practice Self-Care and Focus on Wellness
A lot of times people succumb to their desires to escape reality; hence, they go on a drinking spree or impulsive hookups and one-night stands. While these actions are valid, they are not healthy for your soul. There are better ways to move on and get over your ex without hurting yourself.
Stay active!
It’s understandable that you will be sluggish and depressed from what’s happened. By doing something repeatedly over time, you’re bound to create a routine that can distract you from your recent breakup. Try to engage in activities that help benefit your mind and body.
Recreational Hobbies
Learning a new activity or coming back to your hobbies is a great way to distract yourself from your sadness.
Cooking and baking are common hobbies that can become useful skills. Not only are you moving on from your heartbreak, but you are also learning new skills that you can use moving forward.
Gardening is fun and mindful. Taking care of plants allows you to learn the art of nurturing others. The serenity of the beautiful plants around you keeps your mind off your breakup. At the same time, you’ll be able to keep your home aesthetically pleasing through gardening.
Active Lifestyle
A healthy body helps produce a healthy mind. The gym is a good place to mend a broken heart.
Why?
Because all your pent-up emotions can be channeled through every movement and lift you make. Who needs a preworkout formula when you can use your emotions to help carry 10 more pounds?
But remember to also be mindful of your form and technique—if you’re lost in your emotions while you’re exercising, you’re bound to physically hurt yourself.
The gym is also a great place to make new friends who have the same goals as you. Maybe join a running club or do group workouts and connect with other people.
If you want to move on, why not do it (literally) healthily?
Only You Have the Power to Move On
At the end of the day, it’s up to you whether you want to get over your breakup or not. It’s your life, your body, and your decision.
If you do decide to take care of yourself and start progressing from your past, great! You are well on your way towards recovery.
But how do you know if you have moved on?
That’s the best part—you don’t. You wouldn’t notice it even if someone tells you that you look happier and more radiant. Because you’re focused on taking better care of yourself, for yourself.
It will, without a doubt, be a lengthy process. But what is certain about this whole moving-on process is that you will progressively become a better person and partner in the future.
So, why dwell in the past if you just broke up when you can move on and be happier?
External References:
“LETTING GO.” n.d. BuddhaNet. Accessed August 19, 2025. https://www.buddhanet.net/4noble14/.
Sutton, Jeremy, and Gabriella Lancia. 2023. “Breakup Therapy: How to Help Clients Cope With Grief.” Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/breakup-therapy/.
“Why It Can Be Easier to Open Up To a Stranger Than a Friend, Family Member.” 2023. The Swaddle. https://www.theswaddle.com/why-it-can-be-easier-to-open-up-to-a-stranger-than-a-friend-family-member.