I am broken hearted: Understanding the 5 stages of breakup grief.

The feeling of romantic heartbreak is generally compared to grieving the death of someone you love because, in essence, love dies when a relationship ends. The emotional process follows stages of grief, which may not occur in a specific order. The five stages commonly described are: Denial, which involves confusion and struggling to accept the end; Anger, often marked by resentment or thoughts of revenge; Bargaining, where regrets lead to attempts to negotiate changes to get the partner back; Depression, characterized by intense sadness, loneliness, and possibly physical symptoms; and finally, Acceptance, which brings clarity and the ability to move forward.

Broken hearted: What is the emotional roadmap for healing after a breakup?

The roadmap to recovery is described as a long process that has no shortcuts. Healing involves cycling through the various stages of grief. For instance, the Denial stage may include questioning your identity when you are no longer someone's other half. Anger may manifest as taking frustration out on the ex or being mad at yourself for mistakes made. Bargaining, while seemingly promising, only holds back the healing process. The final step, Acceptance, means recognizing the relationship has ended and choosing peace, which makes moving on feel less daunting.

How to give your heart a break from dating (without giving up on love).

To give your heart a break, you must recognize that healing after a breakup is a long process that cannot be rushed. You should allow yourself to experience the natural emotional response to the loss, including basking in feelings of loneliness or upset, and hanging onto your support system. When the stages of grief have been processed, particularly the Depression stage, you will naturally gain clarity and realize it is time to say goodbye to the past relationship. This movement toward Acceptance opens you up to new possibilities in the future without giving up on love entirely.

Time to say goodbye: How do I know when a relationship is truly over?

Although this assessment is usually made before the breakup, the clarity that the relationship is truly over often comes during the healing process, especially as you move into the Acceptance stage. At this point, you come to terms with the relationship ending. During the Bargaining stage, there is an understanding that there is no use in beating a dead horse by attempting to negotiate changes, indicating the relationship cannot be salvaged. Acceptance signals that you have let all feelings out and are ready to choose peace over continued mourning.

Please don't break my heart: What are the warning signs or red flags in a new relationship?

The provided information focuses heavily on coping with heartbreak after a relationship has ended, including the emotional journey through the five stages of grief. It does not contain specific details regarding red flags or warning signs to watch for in a new relationship.

How a Broken-Hearted Woman Copes with a Breakup

A broken-hearted woman grieving her relationship

What does a broken heart feel like for a woman?

Generally, romantic heartbreak isn’t different from losing someone we love to death. Our grief comes in stages. But they don’t necessarily happen in order.

We find ourselves on an emotional roller coaster. One day, we’re functional. The next day, we just want to hole up in our room and cry all day.

Here’s how a broken-hearted woman goes through grief:

The Stages of Grief for the Broken-Hearted

According to clinical psychologist Adam Borland, it’s helpful to align post-breakup feelings with the stages of grief.

And that’s not a stretch. Love dies when a breakup happens, so the mourning period feels like grieving someone’s death.

But depending on who you ask, there are five or seven stages of grief. In this blog post, let’s just tackle five.

Stage #1: Denial

When playwright Ziella Bryars went through her breakup, confusion was an understatement.

“The shock of suddenly being out of that relationship was an incredibly destabilising experience. I’d not only lost that person, but all the things that went along with them,” she states in an article with Psyche.

She questioned her very identity. If she’s not someone’s other half, who is she?

Like her, many women struggle to accept the reality of their unhappy ending. Some even hang on to the hope of reconciliation. They’ll do anything to get their ex back and don’t care what it takes.

Stage #2: Anger

Once the shock fades, anger usually takes its place. More often than not, a breakup isn’t a mutual decision. When a woman is left behind or betrayed, resentment seeps into her. Thoughts of revenge may even cross her mind.

Here’s an example from an episode of the It’s a Girl Thing podcast:

When a woman caught her husband cheating with a coworker, she obviously wanted to divorce him. But she also wanted to mess with him a little. So, she diluted her urine, poured it into their iron water reservoir, and watched him iron his work shirts every Sunday.

What she did was both gross and horrifying. But it’s proof that a broken-hearted woman can take her anger out on her ex.

If not, she’ll be mad at herself for making mistakes or believing she had a shot at true love.

Stage #3: Bargaining

When the anger subsides, regrets will come crashing in. Good memories of the relationship will start to replay in her mind, and what-ifs will haunt her. And with that, she’ll wish she had done things differently.

She’ll attempt to negotiate with her ex. She’ll make promises to change, just to get him back.

As promising as this stage sounds, it isn’t the best move. Bargaining will only hold her back from healing. There’s no use in beating a dead horse.

Stage #4: Depression

As time passes after her breakup, she’ll find herself wondering how to move on without her ex. But it’s not that easy.

She knows it’s time to say goodbye to her relationship, but the heartbreak overwhelms her.

Bryars recalls that, a few days after her breakup, she was sitting in a brightly lit diner with her best friend. Despite the good company and atmosphere, she could only stare at her plate of food. The idea of even eating put her off.

At this stage, the sadness is so intense that a woman can experience physical symptoms of heartbreak.

She’ll naturally cope by basking in her feelings and hanging onto her support system. But it will take a while for her to snap out of it.

Depression is a natural response to a breakup. Who wouldn’t feel lonely and upset after a split?

Stage #5: Acceptance

After letting all her feelings out in the previous stages, she’ll finally get much-needed clarity. She’ll come to terms with her relationship ending, and moving on won’t look as daunting as it once did.

In her eyes, the future will be more exciting. She’ll slowly open up to new possibilities as she learns to live life again.

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting about the pain. Instead, she’ll choose peace after everything that happened.

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A woman can go through these stages of grief more than once or experience several of them simultaneously.

Regardless, learn how to give your heart a break. It’s a long process, but healing has no shortcuts.

Remember: A broken-hearted woman won’t always be mourning her relationship. She’ll eventually find peace, and so can you.

References:

Cleveland Clinic. 2025. “Understanding the 5 Stages of Grief After a Breakup.” Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/stages-of-grief-breakup.

Bryars, Ziella. 2024. “How to ease the pain of heartache.” Psyche. https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-ease-the-pain-of-grief-following-a-romantic-breakup.

Obrien, Shania. 2025. “My husband cheated on me at work so I got revenge in the pettiest (and most disgusting) way possible.” Daily Mail. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/relationships/article-15168613/My-husband-cheated-work-got-revenge-pettiest-disgusting-way-possible.html.