After a breakup or loss, what does it mean to have a 'broken heart' and how can I start to heal?

A **broken heart** often results when a relationship sours and love fades, leading to an inclination to blame others [1]. Grief naturally follows, and there's a recognized condition called “Broken Heart Syndrome,” which the Mayo Clinic states is typically caused by stressful situations and extreme emotions that can harm the heart [2]. Despite this, it's important to know that experiencing a broken heart is not the end of the world, and there are ways to heal and **move on** from what might seem like a hopeless situation [2].

What are the most effective ways to cope with a broken heart and move forward without lingering in sadness?

While some coping methods, such as drinking away the pain or engaging in new relationships, can be dangerous and impulsive, the majority of your decisions will be based on grief, which **clouds your judgment** [3]. To effectively **move on**, you need a clear state of mind [3]. It's perfectly fine to grieve, cry, and feel broken, but prolonging sadness can cause irreversible damage [4]. You must learn to tolerate the sadness and become proactive in your healing process [4, 5].

Who should I turn to for support when recovering from a significant relationship ending, and how can they help?

Although dealing with a breakup alone is a common choice, recovery is most effective when done with people you trust or feel comfortable with [5]. **Never be afraid or ashamed to receive help** from those who genuinely want to offer it [5]. Friends are there to cheer you up and listen without judgment, possibly even sharing similar experiences [6]. Your family will always love you unconditionally [6]. Additionally, talking to strangers can provide impartial judgment and relieve the burden of being judged for your actions, acting as a pseudo-therapy [6].

How can I incorporate new routines and self-care practices into my life to aid in the healing process?

Setting **small, proactive routines** is an excellent way to start progressing from sadness, especially when time feels slow due to depression [7]. Engaging in activities like hobbies that enrich life skills, attending workouts, gyms, yoga sessions, or running clubs can improve your lifestyle and provide positive distraction [7]. Being mindful of these routines helps create good habits and slowly allows your sadness to fade as you focus on completing them [7]. This focus on self-care directly supports the healing of a broken heart [8].

What is the role of self-reflection and self-love in mending a broken heart and preparing for future relationships?

During quiet times, when sadness and regret are at their peak, **acknowledge your past and present** without denial, as denial hinders progress [9]. Self-reflection should be approached from a neutral standpoint, not a hostile one; instead of resenting yourself, acknowledge your faults, understand why you made them, and promise to be better [10]. Practicing **self-care and self-love** means treating yourself kindly and working to change yourself for the better [8]. Learning to love yourself is crucial because true love for others stems from self-love, and your broken heart needs your love to mend itself [8].

A Broken Heart? Here's How to Move On From a Breakup

A man with a broken heart strolling through the beach

A broken heart is not easy to fix, nor is it easy to move on.

At some point, a relationship sours, and the couple becomes indifferent to each other. Love has faded, and the relationship can’t be salvaged anymore. It’s easy to blame each other when one sees oneself as right, while the other is wrong.

What can they do? Nothing. It’s an endless spew of fights.

“I don’t see us anymore. We are breaking up.”

And then grief follows. What can grief do to a person? It breaks a person’s heart.

Did you know that there’s a syndrome called “Broken Heart Syndrome?” According to the Mayo Clinic, Broken Heart Syndrome is often caused by stressful situations and extreme emotions, which can hurt the heart.

So, if you're experiencing a broken heart, don't fret. It's not the end of the world. There are still ways to heal and move on from what you might think is a hopeless situation.

How to Move On from a Broken Heart

People have their own way of coping with a broken heart. Albeit some can be dangerous and impulsive, such as drinking the pain away or sleeping with a new person, others choose self-love and patience.

While it is not bad to do things that give you a sense of comfort, you must understand that the majority of your decisions are based on your grief, which clouds your judgment; hence, you will need to have a clear sense of state to understand your situation.

Moving on is never easy—that’s true. It takes dedication, wisdom, and a lot of trial and error to fully progress.

With that said, here are ways to help you move on from a breakup.

Grieve, but Never Linger

It’s okay to cry, to grieve, and to be broken. You are permitted to feel bad about what’s happened, and you should. Don’t deny yourself the sadness—it will only eat you up from the inside if you bottle up your emotional frustrations.

However, grieving for too long can cause irreversible damage. While it is healthy to be sad about your current situation, you shouldn’t prolong the sadness. You need to start moving on and being proactive.

The sadness of a breakup will not go away easily, but you must learn to tolerate said sadness.

Get a Fallback Support System

While we often choose to deal with a breakup alone, recovery should be done with people you trust or feel comfortable with. Never be afraid or ashamed to receive help from those who genuinely want to.

Friends, families, and like-minded strangers are always there to help you ease your pain. Talk to them, share your grief, cry on their shoulders, and let them understand how difficult it is to go through life with a broken heart.

Your friends are there to cheer you up and listen to you without judgment—they might even share similar experiences with you.

Your family will love you no matter what happens. Despite it all, you are still family—they will always love you, even if you feel unloved and broken.

Talk to strangers—it’s not a bad idea. We confide in our closest friends for trust, but we confide in strangers and acquaintances for impartial judgment of our situation. Talking to strangers helps you relieve yourself of the burden of being judged for your actions. Take it as a pseudo-therapy.

Be Proactive by Doing Routines

It takes time to mend a broken heart, but time feels slow when you’re too depressed to move. That’s why setting yourself small routines to make yourself proactive is a great way to start progressing from your sadness.

Doing activities such as engaging in hobbies that enrich life skills or attending workouts and physical activities such as gyms, yoga sessions, or running clubs can help not only improve lifestyle but also distract you in a positive way.

Setting yourself routines creates a good habit for yourself. By being mindful of what you do, slowly your sadness fades away while you’re busy making sure your routines are finished.

Self-Reflection—Not Self-Punishment

In your quietest times, you are left alone with your thoughts. This is when your sadness and regret come alive at their peak. Of course, your broken heart can’t keep up with the weight of your faults and regrets. What do you do to relieve yourself of these burdens?

Acknowledge your past and present; never deny what has happened and what is happening to you. Remember: Denial will only hinder your progress; you are only lying to yourself.

By acknowledging what you’ve done, you are now at the first step to moving forward from your breakup. It doesn’t matter how little you moved on; what matters is that you moved.

When you reflect on yourself, do so from a neutral standpoint and not in a hostile position. Don’t resent yourself for what you’ve done; rather, acknowledge your faults and why you’ve made them, and promise yourself that you will be better than what you used to be.

A man experiencing self-love by meditating alone.

Self-love heals a broken heart.

Practice Self-Care and Self-Love

Even if it was your fault the relationship was torn apart, you shouldn’t treat yourself too harshly. Many were in your shoes, and most of the time, they did the exact thing you did. It’s normal.

Don’t be afraid to treat yourself nicely. Learn to take care of yourself—pick yourself up and dust it off.

When you engage in self-love, know that you are trying to change yourself for the better. Because what is love without change? You need to learn to love yourself—if you can love yourself, then you can love others.

It would be hypocritical if you were offering love to everyone, yet you couldn’t even love yourself. Be kind and loving to yourself. You’ve already gone through so much. The last thing you need is to loathe yourself from regret—your broken heart needs your love to mend it back together.

***

At the end of the day, you’re responsible for taking care of your broken heart, whether you apply the lessons you’ve learned or continue wallowing in your sadness.

External References:

Anderson, Jenny. n.d. “A Harvard sociologist explains why we confide in strangers.” Quartz. Accessed August 6, 2025. https://qz.com/1808638/a-harvard-sociologist-explains-why-we-confide-in-strangers.

“Broken heart syndrome - Symptoms and causes.” 2023. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617.