Thailand is a country in Southeast Asia that has a rich history, booming agriculture, and is a top tourist destination.
Thailand possesses a unique culture that might seem alien to foreigners. It is renowned for many things, including its elephants, Buddhism, Pad Thai, and Muay Thai. But Thailand wouldn’t be Thailand if not for its ladyboy culture.
What is this ladyboy culture?
While elephants and their cuisine make Thailand a sought-after tourist destination, the ladyboy culture is often the most misunderstood, yet intriguing, aspect of Thai society.
To foreigners, they might just be drag queens or gay men. But to Thais, the ladyboy culture underlines its inclusive and diverse society, when others would have discriminated and mocked.
The ladyboy culture in Thailand has become one of the country’s biggest identities, especially for tourists and backpackers all over the world. Wherever you are in the country, the ladyboys are respected and accepted.
This begs the question: What role does the ladyboy culture play in the country’s dating scene?
The Culture of Acceptance
Before delving into anything, we need to address one thing: What is a ladyboy?
A ladyboy is an effeminate gay man, commonly associated with transgender and androgynous people. A ladyboy is said to have “a woman’s soul stuck in a man’s body.”
While many countries, particularly conservative and religious ones, do not recognize a third gender, Thailand views ladyboys as an essential component of society.
Deeply rooted in their religious culture of Buddhism, a Thai ladyboy, locally known as a kathoey, is recognized as a third gender. Their religion is heavily based on karma, or a sum of a person’s actions resulting in consequence, and according to Richard Totman’s “The Third Sex: Kathoey: Thailand's Ladyboys,” becoming a kathoey is predetermined from birth and is the direct result of a karmic debt accumulated from the person’s misdeeds in their previous life.
However, it is viewed more as a source of inspiration than as a form of karmic punishment. They believe that becoming a kathoey offers a second chance in life to atone for their previous transgressions. Hence, it is important for Thai people to understand gender identity.
How Ladyboys Influence Thai Society
The ladyboys are a unique group of people. While other cultures look down on and discriminate against gay men, Thais embrace their uniqueness. As such, they don’t hide their identities; they are proud of them. They are respected and loved, even becoming one of the top attractions in the country.
Notably seen in most beauty salons, bars, and cabaret clubs, a ladyboy’s life can be a humbling experience for those who have little knowledge of what they are like.
Kathoey is not merely a gimmick aimed at adventurous men; it also serves as a reflection of Thailand’s deep-rooted religious beliefs in Buddhism.
The people of Thailand believe that there is karma for every action and intention. Hence, they believe that one must love, respect, and at the very least show tolerance to everyone they meet or see, regardless of gender.
This encompassing and inclusive culture reflects Thailand’s nickname as the Land of Smiles.
What We Can Learn From Thai Ladyboy Culture
People date whoever they want, but it’s not surprising that there will always be a significant amount of prejudice towards those they don’t prefer. More often than not, they are brushed aside or never given any chance.
Having preferences or standards in choosing a date is not bad per se, but such a societal dynamic fosters discrimination.
That’s why we are better off learning a thing or two from Thailand’s ladyboy culture. Because, despite their untraditional identity, they are accepted and respected nonetheless.
What more can we learn from the ladyboy culture that reflects the Thai dating scene?
Acceptance
As humans, we often find it difficult to accept our differences, backgrounds, and identities. It is natural for people to reject ideology, decisions, methods, and even other people, especially if they don’t align with ours.
In Thailand, acceptance is a core value in society. They will accept you regardless of whether you’re a man, a woman, or a ladyboy. According to Psychology Today, accepting someone is not about liking or approving a situation; rather, it’s about recognizing the reality without judgment.
In dating terms, we shouldn’t judge what it is about the person we are dating that we find unsettling. Instead, we should come to terms with the fact that the person we’re dating is truly who they are. Accept the bad with the good.
Authenticity
Dating is often about two people trying to impress each other. Because they are determined to leave a great impression on the other, they usually end up pretending to be someone they’re not. They lie about interests just so they have something in common, or withhold details about themselves to keep the other from being turned off.
White lies aren’t necessarily bad, but when you build a connection based on lies, that’s a different story. Relationships that are built on a foundation of lies will eventually crumble. The ladyboy culture teaches us the importance of showing our real selves, regardless of what other people might think.
Authenticity fosters genuine connections.
Open-mindedness
Have you ever found yourself on a date with someone who didn't meet your standards? Never, right? Because it didn't occur to you to date someone outside your preference. That's being close-minded—you shut yourself off from people just because you don't feel like it.
The ladyboy culture teaches Thais to be open-minded. As a result, men are more open to creating meaningful connections with kathoey. They're not treated with discrimination or ridicule; they are treated like humans, as they should be.
In fact, from the moment their family realized their son wanted to be a woman, family members have been especially tolerant of their preferences. They even support their son's decision to get surgery when he’s older.
According to NYU Langone, a person who wants to pursue gender-reaffirming surgery must complete a set of requirements, such as surgical referral letters from mental health professionals, hormone therapy, and insurance authorization.
Thai parents are willing to devote time and money to complete those requirements for their son’s sake. In other cultures, supportive parents are rare, since being gay is often frowned upon by society.
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We hope that this unconventional blog has opened your eyes and mind to the unique Thai culture. The ladyboy culture of Thailand is not just a tourist gimmick; it is an integral part of the country’s core values. It is important to recognize how ladyboys have helped cultivate the world’s view on acceptance and love.
External References:
Hanley-Dafoe Ed.D., Robyne. 2024. “How the Practice of Acceptance Can Help You Get Unstuck.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-resilience/202408/how-the-practice-of-acceptance-can-help-you-get-unstuck.
“Preparing for Gender-Affirming Surgery.” n.d. NYU Langone Health. Accessed August 18, 2025. https://nyulangone.org/care-services/plastic-surgery/gender-affirming-surgery-services/preparing-for-gender-affirming-surgery.
Totman, Richard. 2003. The third sex : Kathoey : Thailand's ladyboys. N.p.: Souvenir.